The Resentment Force

There must be some principle in psychology that describes the personal hurt people feel over others' shortcomings.

I am thinking especially of something I've written about before, people in personals adds asking for a partner that is "height-weight proportionate" or "HWP."   Although this leaves a bad taste in my mouth no matter how it's framed, I recognize that some people may have an open-hearted desire for a medium-sized person on some personal grounds, like a love of gymnastics or a love of tiny spaces.  Or even to satisfy particular attractiveness needs.

But there is another kind of HWP requirement that is based on a kind of personal resentment.  The people who object on this level can be heard saying things like "she must have been really fat if..." with a sharp edge that suggests a lot more than functional considerations.  It's as if heavy poeple had at some point leveraged undue power over the speaker.  As if they had humiliated him in grade school. As if they are members of an elite, bully strength circle against whom now a perpetual, personal resentment must be launched, at once subdued and agressive.  He doesn't let anyone to hear it, but in his heart he is screaming: "I hate these people."

As with most personal reactions, this one can be generalized to qualities outside of physical appearance.  People resent those who have more money than they do or even those who may have more money in future.  Business people are a common target of those who are not entrepreneurial.  Those with nine-to-five jobs often suppose that commercial work is quick, easy and not sufficeintly unpleasant. College students are targets among those who are not graduates or sometimes by fellow collegiates who feel out of place in the environment. 

The same resentful disdain that partners feel toward imperfect romance can be seen here too.  As if the offending party has transgressed the rules of engagement.  It is interesting that, while one transgression has the flavor of jealousy and the other of reproach, they both have a similar emotional effect on the beholder, one of dissatisfaction with the world and personal reproach of the individual. 

Perhaps this is because directionality does not matter in this exchange.  In other words, whether you are the one feeling judged or doling out the judgement, the feelings generated there fill the space between the two parties - even if exercised in theory only - and create a sort of hazard space that is palpable by both and has the same flavor for both.  And for any passing stranger for that matter as well.

In physics, Force is described as "an interaction between two objects."*  In other words, like water that fills the space between two sides of a basin, force is a sort medium for a conversation between the objects on the relationship between them.  Being more precise and quantifiable than a social exchange, it is easier to measure and name, but similar dynamics exist in the world of human behavior, where the interchange between two people can be sensed by both equally and, perhaps for this reason rendering the directionality of such a thing as resentment unimportant or, indeed, unmeasurable.

In essence, the relationship between two objectgs is a situation, like being lost in a market or toasting a promotion, necessarily viewed in its entirety for full effect and evading taxonomical dissection.   In physics as in behavior.  Like a smooth-piece batton, where it is difficult to tell, technically, where one end begins and the other ends, Force and Resentment both live within the full house built for them by the interaction at play, filling the space and reverbirating against to walls until ineed a veriable symphony plays, shaking everyone to its uniform tune.

* Serway, Raymond and John Jewett, Jr.  Physics for Scientists and Engineers. 8th ed. Boston: Brooks/Cole. 2012. 92.