A long time ago, when iPods were still new and the only people who had them were those who also had square-rimmed glasses and a job in an undefined, new hip part of commerce, a coworker wanted to tell me about another coworker she had. And she didn't know how to hone him down for me until she thought of her solution: "He has an iPod," she said.
Having an iPod meant something then, and it WAS a good way to describe the character of a person. Kind of like saying, "He lives in the country," or "He has a Harley." Stereotype-driven but still telling.
Today, iPods are so common that having one means nothing short of than that you are probably under 80 years of age. Probably.
Still, people insist on describing themselves to others in ways that elude information.
Today, I had someone say to me, by way of elucidating his character, that he listens to NPR.
"I listen to NPR," he said.
It is true that I, too, listen to NPR, but what does that mean?
For one thing, I don't listen to NPR all the time, 24 hours a day. I listen sometimes, in the morning, when I am hungry for news. Sometimes I listen to my NPR station for classical music picks, just to be surprised by something new. Sometimes I listen on my way back from work. A lot of times Fresh Air is on then.
But saying that I listen to NPR means nothing more than saying that I listen to some other station or to the radio in general or even just that I listen to people talking and reporting, even if they're not on the radio.
The difference between my listening to NPR, I thought, and someone else listening is so enormous that saying we both do so suggests no guaranteed similarity between us at all.
This person who announced his listenership, for instance, saw it upon himself to make other pronouncements about his character. He is responsible. He works hard. He likes corn. Well, for one thing, I would never make a list of my character points to present to a friend or acquaintance. I would not say I am responsible and a great tennis player, as a way of self-introduction. I may say so in conversation, if topics veered that way, but I would not recite qualities like a grocery list. So a person who recites and listens to NPR is a very different sort of person from the one who maybe does not recite and also listens.
Very different. A story might make me put more gas in my car than I usually would. It might change my mood or make me want to wash my windshield with those self-serve rubber squeegees.
It might make someone else take notes and register to vote or call his mother. It might make someone reconsider his career choice, think hard about daycare or hair color or aging. The possibilities span the gamut.
So really, New Friend, a statement that you think is representative of a certain set of qualities in you is really not representative unless you take the time to annotate the qualities you think it stands for and why they may be thus held. In that respect, if you had annotated, we would at least have in common the insight that a simple pronouncement cannot mean what is implied by its hidden significance unless properly unpacked. As it is, all I gain from what you've said is that you have little discretion in gauging the tiny fractures in the language you claim to use to your advantage.
